Jobs I Can Never Have

Sometimes it’s really hard to know what you should do with the rest of your life. It’s important to find something you love (at least if you’re a millennial), but it’s also important to do something you’re good at. I tried making a list of these two things, but it wasn’t leading me anywhere significant, so I tried a different approach and made a list of jobs I could never do.

  1. Surgeon. My hands shake too much and also I get uncomfortable thinking about the mere existence of my own knee caps, let alone cutting into someone else’s.
  2. Humane Society employee. The salary probably isn’t enough for me to provide for all the dogs I would inevitably end up adopting.
  3. WWE Pro Wrestler. I hate conflict.
  4. Interior designer. If you want your rooms done in earth tones and grey scales, hit me up. Nothing else is visually pleasing to me, and therefore I could not condone it.
  5. Cooking show judge. I don’t like steak, pork, mushrooms, or seafood.
  6. Elementary school teacher. Kids are loud and sticky and I would probably accidentally let slip that Santa’s not real.
  7. Life guard. I hate the sun and honestly I’m not that great at swimming.
  8. Engineer. I don’t get it.
  9. Life coach. My go-to advice for everything is “I dunno, go for a walk or something?”
  10. Model. I am short and unwilling to surrender my Pizza Hut Hut Lover’s® membership.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s