Welcome 2016

Good evening.

As you may have noticed, I haven’t posted anything in a while. This is because I’ve spent the last two weeks celebrating the holidays, passing a kidney stone, packing for college, driving to college, and going to college, in that order. As a result, I don’t really have a whole lot of new material to share– you might be surprised to know this, but lying on the floor screaming doesn’t offer much in the way of blog inspiration. So here is a quick summary of what I do have to share from the tail end of 2015 and the start of 2016:

  • Unless you somehow contributed to genocide in a major and unforgivable way, you don’t deserve a kidney stone.
  • The only restaurants in Alabama are McDonald’s and Subway.
  • Just because you’re adult enough to get yourself a Kroeger rewards card doesn’t mean you’re adult enough to fill out the form without having to consult your mother.
  • A building-wide loss of water pressure leads to instant rebellion among young adults.
  • Southerners think 50º is cold.

Since I’ve only been to one day of classes, that’s pretty much all I have to reflect upon for now. Before I wrap up, however, I would like to look ahead briefly at what 2016 will likely entail for me and my blog:

  • Art History II means the return of captioned art snapchat stories, which will likely also be found on this blog because evidently I’m not the only one who thinks they’re funny.
  • I have accepted constant peeing as the price for staying hydrated and will now be drinking water more than once a month like a camel.
  • I’m either going to love or hate Shakespeare for good. Either way, be prepared to hear a lot about him.
  • February 20th is my chance to remedy my greatest regret and take a picture with Jukebox the Ghost drummer Jesse Kristin. You will know beyond any shadow of a doubt when this happens.
  • This July will mark the third time I get to blow a German’s mind by taking them to Walmart.
  • My political influence on the town of Gretna will increase substantially when my best friend is elected to city council.

Happy New Year everybody, I can’t wait to share it with y’all.



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